becoming

I love the word becoming. It can conjure up something new and positive. Of course, there can always be a negative side to almost anything, but for the most part, I think of the action of becoming in a positive light. 

I'm in the phase of becoming…a grandmother. It's just around the corner, and I can hardly wait!

However, becoming a grandmother is so different from becoming a mother. It's not something you prepare yourself for; it just happens. There is no action required of self. I have no say in the matter, which is a good thing, and other than being a support for my children, there is nothing I have to do. There are things that I do, but it is completely different from becoming a mother.

Since I was three years old, probably my earliest memories, all I wanted was to be a mother. As a child myself, I cared for my baby dolls. My pretend skills were unimaginable, and they gave me the capacity to nurture and love. Fortunately, my dream of becoming a mother came to fruition, and I had three beautiful babies. Fast-forward to adult children—one is married and with a child, and the other two have loves of their own. 

So here we are- less than one month away from becoming a grandmother, and the concept still seems foreign. In thinking about this, I realized my identity is truly being a mother, which I still am, of course, so becoming a grandmother seems less accurate. I don't want or think this will be the case, but I can't imagine myself being anything but a mother- which I still am and will always be. 

My college roommate just became a grandmother this month. She is, as she put it, over the moon in love! Everyone says it's the best, which will be the case for me. However, it still seems foreign. Indeed, we all can be more than one thing at a time. I am more than just a mother (and I'm not trying to slight myself there). I am a daughter, sister, wife, nurse- you get the picture. I realize these identities are self-evident- however, it wasn't part of my intentional dream, although it is something I always wanted- for my children to marry and have their children. So, even though I may not intentionally prepare my mind for becoming a grandmother, it is part of who I am by nature, so it makes complete sense that this new role will fit perfectly with who I am by design. It may not sink in until the day of arrival.

The other aspect of this new phenomenon is my daughter is becoming a mother like me! How incredible is that? It is a whole new dimension of becoming. She is becoming the most important (at least to me) and the most special (at least to me) role- being a mom. The uniqueness of growing a child inside your body, carrying that unborn baby around with you for 40 weeks, and then finally, after much thought and preparation, the baby arrives- what a beautiful display of life and humanity. This I understand fully. Now, all I have to do is wait a few more weeks, and I will finally understand what it means to become a grandmother!