For all of time, the human condition has placed hope deep inside our core. It isn’t a 21 century concept, it goes back through the ages from ancient days as described in the Bible to Shakespeare to modern day literature. This feeling cannot be more evident in the hope a parent has for their children.
I recently traveled to Italy with my husband (which I will blog about soon) and while on the plane, I watched a movie The Joy Luck Club. I’m sure the book goes much deeper into the intertwined lives of these generational woman, but something that was said, really struck a chord.
Each day as we connect with people, enter their lives through Facebook, or perhaps interact with the less fortunate at a homeless shelter, but the concept of Hope is very apparent throughout our interactions. We hope that a friend or loved one will be cured of disease. We hope that the drug-addicted or homeless person will get help and find a new life, a job, a home. We all want to hold onto hope, and we should.
However, something that I have been learning and working on in my life is not that you shouldn’t have hope, but you need to have trust. To trust God. To trust his plan for me and my family.
Getting back to The Joy Luck Club which triggered this concept of hope. There was an exchange between one of the daughters and her mother. This grown daughter always felt like a failure because she could never live up to what her mother’s hopes and dreams were for her. The mother had made it very clear to her daughter what her wishes were for her, but when the daughter was not able to fulfill those dreams, she felt like she failed her mother. This is the chord that struck me. Yes we need to have dreams for our kids, and there is nothing wrong with hope, but I don’t think I ever thought about how my dreams for my kids may have a negative impact on their perception of where they are in their life.
I think it’s okay to have hope and dreams, but our hopes and dreams may not be what our kids are hoping and dreaming for, and if that is the case, perhaps we are setting them up for feelings of insecurity and disappointment.
So, a lesson I am learning; hope but be cautious in the perception and delivery of our wishes and dreams for our loved ones. But also, try to Trust; trust that there is a plan for your life and your children’s life and it may not be what you wish for or want.
This isn’t easy. We think we know what is best. We want our kids and our family to have excellent health, a life free of worries, great jobs, security, live in a spectacular place. We only hope and wish for things that bring what we think is best, and what the world tells us they should have. We never wish for or hope for anything less and yet we know that life is not always that way. There will be struggles. There will be sickness. There will be loss. Are we doing enough to prepare ourselves for those things? Yes, we hold onto hope, but is that enough? If we just hope are we really equipping ourselves and our kids for what lies ahead?
A tough question and I don’t have the answers, but I think we can use each day to learn and grow and push through life, teaching as we go along that you will have struggles, that life will be difficult at times, but the human condition and spirit is much stronger than anything else we often hold onto. If we are able to couple the human spirit with the divine, then perhaps hope turns into trust.
So hope yes, but try to trust more. Trust in something greater and bigger than your own ability, your own strength your own hopes and dreams. Trust that what you want and wish for may or may not be what is divinely appointed by someone other than yourself, and that’s okay.